


DOOO it DEW IT DOOO ITT

by handschuhmaus



Category: DiscworldMUD, Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Role-Playing Game, Sith D&D, Virtual Reality, but it's also virtual reality via holonet, complete and utter crack, contemplating idiotic and frivolous actions, my experience with DMing is largely limited to listening to Griffin McElroy do it, not ala holodeck though, or that sort of old heavily text based game anyway, strange and random combination of ttrpg and a MUD, that is Sith playing a ttrpg not Sith as done by the GoT showrunners, the Cone of Silence, the hot tub is filled with 300 gallons of dark chocolate liqueur
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-04-07 15:03:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19087456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/handschuhmaus/pseuds/handschuhmaus
Summary: Anakin tries to... well, the closest thing is DM for his friend's online group. It is rather more chaotic than anyone would expect...





	DOOO it DEW IT DOOO ITT

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Wolf_of_Lilacs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolf_of_Lilacs/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Vegetable Sith Tales](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2256378) by [handschuhmaus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/handschuhmaus/pseuds/handschuhmaus). 



> so uh, the listed inspiration and my experiences with my (RIP--auto-deleted) DiscworldMUD wizard trying to get the Feast achievement using the Assassins' Guild spa... led me to the idea of Sith in bagna cauda.
> 
> Also, something completely unrelated turned up the notion of Separatist leaders in the Cone of Silence...
> 
> and so, in a confusing and nearly inexplicable format, I am making that happen.
> 
>  
> 
> ~~Wolf_of_Lilacs inspired this by bringing up Vegetable Sith Tales in my head with other crack.~~

_Welcome to your game chat/command area. Please remember to be courteous and respect each other._

Plags: CHOOSE skin 57!

Sidious: What?

Plags: Just do it!

Qymaen: I chose skin 7, "generic tourist"

Dooku: why isn't 8.9 a valid number? choose a number it said. it didn't specify further

**Anakin(you)** : You're gathered together in a lodge, which has a locker facility and a bar inside it, along with a restaurant that isn't open.

Sidious: maybe it needs to be an integer?

Dooku: since when was I assigned skin 119: randNGTSHD? What does that mean?

Sidious: Exactly how does it gratify you that I'm now in a cauliflower costume?!

Plags: \open locker door

**DescripBOT** : You open the locker facility's door.

Sidious: \enter locker facility

**DescripBOT** : You see the locker facility. There are three showers, a wall with about twenty lockers on it, and a spa tub. 

Plags: \?spells

Dooku: why do I have a roll of lockpicks and a pan of brownies?

**DescripBOT** : You know the following spells: Clackdoor Likquid Deelite, sundae on sunday, Papyruscribe, cd

Plags: \Clackdoor Likquid Deelite

**DescripBOT** : SYNTAX ERROR: cast CLD with creating [liquid] into [container]

Dooku: \look bar

**DescripBOT** : Welcome Agent 24! The bar is made of wood. There are stools in front of it and many bottles of various liquids behind it

Qymaen: \get turpentine

**Anakin(you)** : _turpentine_?!!!

Plags: \cast CLD with creating bagna cauda into spa

**DescripBOT** : OBJ turpentine not found. 

**DescripBOT** : ...snip. _(spell description functionality is off. \g to change)_ You fill the spa with 300 gallons of bagna cauda.

Plags: \enter spa

**DescripBOT** : try "get in spa"

Sidious: \cast SOS

**DescripBOT** : you do not know a spell called sos.

**Anakin(you)** : Okay, everyone, so what has brought your characters to the lodge today? Who are you playing?

Sidious: no thanks to @Plags I am a man in a cauliflower suit

Dooku: I'm a secret agent... tomato?

Qymaen: \get ether

**DescripBOT** : OBJ ether not found.

Plags: I'm an anthropomorphic vegetable, specifically a cardoon thanks to Maul

Plags: where is Maul anyway?

Qymaen: \get petrol

**DescripBOT** : OBJ petrol not found. try get rum

Qymaen: \get rum

**DescripBOT** : You cannot get the bottle of rum. Why is the rum gone? Why is the rum gone?

Qymaen: I'm a **touriest** [[link not found]]

**DescripBOT** : @Dooku You receive a message which says [[tooltip: this is visible only to game admin and player it is directed at. for other players this text reads "content hidden"]] "You must use this spy device to make contact and get vital information from the person who will meet you hear. Type ''Use Cone'' if you accept this mission"

Dooku: \use Cone

Dooku: fine if the _game_ insists, the game insists.

**DescripBOT** : You put on the portable cone of silence, which is a large acrylic sphere with two holes in it, one of which is completely blocked by a pipe connecting it to a second sphere. You use it on the only other person in the room, Qymaen.

Sidious: You REALLY remember that old thing?!

**DescripBOT** : You are now in the Cone of Silence.

Plags: etaion shrdlu

Plags: funny, I figured that meant I wouldn't be able to talk.

Qymaen: \Cone I'm completely guessing but i think i know how this routine goes.

Dooku:...apparently it's buggy? I think that was directed at Qymaen.

Sidious: ...I've just realized our virtual reality characters are SITTING IN bagna cauda. Why in Revan's name would you DO THAT DAMASK YOU !@#$@#$?!

**DescripBOT** : You hear Qymaen say "I'm completely guessing but i think I know how this routi"

Plags: Uh... who was supposed to hear that?

Plags: and yes I most certainly DO remember that story. Don't you like garlic, Sheev?

Dooku: \Cone really. It really broadcasts all we say?

Sidious: I have absolutely no interest in actually besmirching any body part in bagna cauda

Sidious: and don't call me Sheev

**Anakin(you)** : Sheev

**DescripBOT** : You hear Dooku say "really. It really broadcasts all we say I have no absolutely n"

Dooku: I didn't say that!

_Your connection has dropped. Attempting to connect..._


End file.
